I arrived at The Well Head Centre (a place for people to go if they are struggling with the pressures and stresses of life). I was just a shell of who I really was, broken, and defeated. I did not know who I was anymore or where I was going, I had completely given up, all hope was gone, I was not living, I was just existing.
When my husband died in 2013, I sank into a deep depression. I felt my world had imploded and that my life was over, part of me had died too. For two years I struggled to face each day. I had no energy or desire to live left in me. I did my best to ignore how I was feeling and tried to keep things together, it was not easy. Then I had more devastating news, my son became ill and ended up in a coma, and I was diagnosed with Hepatitis C. I thought my life was over and I could not take it anymore, I had no support to help me through any of this, I felt desperately alone. On Christmas Day 2016 I took an exceptionally large overdose, there was no point to my life anymore, I just could not cope. It seemed that death was my only way out of all this pain and misery, this was the best solution, no more pain and everyone would be better off without me. After I had taken the pills, for the first time in years, I felt happy! However, I was found, and received treatment, I then was sectioned and put on high doses of medication which made me feel totally numb.
Once I was released from hospital, I was cared for by the Mental Health Team, I had to see a psychiatrist, therapists, and my GP, this was all quite overwhelming. From the outside, people thought I was okay, but I was not, I was sinking further into depression. I would spend days in bed, not leaving my bedroom. I would not take pride in myself, and all I kept thinking about was ways I could end it all. Did they really understand? Did they really know what was wrong with me? Had I been prescribed the correct medication? Why wasn’t I getting any better? For six months nothing changed, I was beginning to think that this was how my life would be forever. Then one afternoon, my therapist started talking to me about The Well Head Centre and asked, would I be interested? At that point I did not have anything to lose! If it does not help me then I can always do the job properly next time!! So, I accepted the invitation, and she got the ball rolling, a referral was made for me. When I found that I met the criteria for The Well Head Centre I was ready to go, I needed to escape from my lonely, isolated life. As I packed my bags, I felt scared, I did not know if I even had the courage to leave my comfort zone, but I am pleased that I did.
The second I walked into The Well Head Centre, I could not put my finger on it, but there was something special about the place. I felt an inner calm. I felt safe, secure, and most importantly, protected. The first night I fell asleep whilst reading a book and it was not until the next day that I realised that I had not taken my sleeping pill, without them I do not normally sleep at all! On the Tuesday, I was asked if I wanted to go into The Healing Rooms for some prayer, again, what did I have to lose? I felt surrounded by calmness, a warmth and love, I felt safe!
When I came out of The Healing Rooms I remember talking to one of the team and telling her that I wanted to let God back into my life. I wanted to open my heart to allow Him in, it was a very emotional time for me and one I will never forget. The moment I gave my life to the Lord, my life changed forever, I started coming out of my room, I was no longer hiding. Whilst I was at The Well Head Centre, I spent a lot of time talking with the team there and they helped me build up my trust and I was able to face things that had been hidden away for many years. I no longer lived in dread of waking up each day. I started going for short walks around the area close to The Centre, I felt free, free from the fear and torment that had so beset my mind. At last, I was able to escape from the dark place, where my demons and the cruel things had haunted me. I would keep telling myself repeatedly, there is nowhere like The Well Head Centre. The help and non-judgemental support you receive there is unique. If you go to any hospital or clinic you must see a team of people who are quick to diagnose you and tell you what is wrong with you. Then you get given a label put on you, rather than recovering you start thinking you are crazy, or you are so ill you will not get better. You must accept what they say, and it does not give you reassurance. What you receive at The Well Head Centre is completely the opposite. You are given time to think, time to find out who you are and where you want to be. You are allowed the freedom to be yourself. I can never thank the team enough, they saved my life. Their time, care, support, and love will never be forgotten. Without them and The Well Head Centre I would have been dead. Their help has given me my life back, the most precious gift in the world and I will be forever grateful.
Update – Where I am today!
I always believed in God, but when I heard people’s testimonies, I did not believe them, but then I had a testimony, yes, it happened to me! Whilst I was at The Well Head Centre, as you know I went into The Healing Rooms for prayer, I was given some scripture verses which were exactly for my situation. I received prayer for Hepatitis C which I had been diagnosed with, I could not believe it when I went for my hospital appointment two weeks later and I got the blood test results back they could not detect it, the previous appointment said it was aggressive, the nurse was in total shock! It was at that point that I knew it was God, I had to continue to go each day for more tests. I was feeling so much better in myself. Last month I got the confirmation, I was given the all clear. Since then, there have been several situations where I know God has been there for me, my life has changed, and a miracle happened. I am completely cured.
The day that I left The Well Head Centre I was incredibly nervous and worried as I had felt so safe and secure there. The team assured me that I would be fine, as God was with me, they were right! Looking back, I can see that now my life has completely changed and all for the better. I am a different person; I attend church as often as I can with my shift patterns at work. I am looking forward to going on Alpha and getting baptised as soon as I can, I am no longer isolated, I have a Life Group which I meet with each week, I can now say that I am happy with life. What sticks in my mind is the fact that my family now say they have got their daughter back. They can see life back in my eyes again. I am off all the medication I was taking. I never thought that was even a possibility! The Doctors are all shocked at my transformation. The Lord and the Well Head Centre have changed my life, I have formed amazing friendships and now have the help, love and support I needed. I have learned how to deal with my feelings in a positive way. I am back at work and studying, doing a course on Mental Health, so one day I can be of help to others with similar struggles. I believe in myself again and have become a better person, I am able to see light instead of darkness, feel love instead of hate and I hope that my testimony will one day help someone experience the same.