Despite this pandemic being forecast, even mentioned at a conference I attended, I still never imagined I would experience for myself what it’s like to live in such a landscape. During the first lockdown there were days I felt I was looking down the barrel of a gun. You could sense the fear settling in. I started to ration my intake of the news. It was bleak and left me feeling in mortal danger. Plus, this adventurer could not imagine staying home for a full three months. It was unthinkable. But, somehow, I adjusted. I started to appreciate the extra time and space. I grew vegetables for the first time, enjoyed the sunshine, being at home, sharing lazy lunches with my husband. I became accustomed to living life in a smaller space, with limited social contact, getting dressed up for Zoom meetings and perfecting my online shopping skills. I got used to the ‘new normal’ everyone was talking about.
Then, before we knew it, Christmas was looming and, along with the celebrations, a new spike in the virus. It seemed the walls were closing in on us again. Everything was about restriction, constriction, the big unknown and more losses: Loss of freedom, loss of income, loss of human contact, loss of normality; And, on top of this, the ultimate loss, with thousands upon thousands of people grieving the deaths of deeply loved family members and friends.
What then shall we say?
Certainly, life is fragile, and it is brief. But it is also wonderful, unimaginably precious, shot through with creativity and filled with purpose. We must make it count. Arguably our greatest challenge is reconciling how things are with how we would like them to be. The reason we are afraid of coronavirus is because we are afraid of death, afraid of loss, afraid of losing control. Who wouldn’t be? Yet how much time do we spend thinking about why we are here in the first place? We are going to have a hard job coming to terms with the reality of death if we do not first think about the significance of life – where it’s going, what it’s for and especially … what now?
When we figure out there is nothing haphazard about it, that we are here by design; everything changes. When we understand we have been made for God’s pleasure – that He wants a relationship with us, that He loves us, that it is in Him we live & move & have our being – the focus moves away from us and onto Him and the pressure is lifted. We can breathe. It is no longer about us; it is about Him. Jesus is suddenly centre stage because everything is held together in Him! Life comes from Him, is sustained by Him, and is made for Him.
What this season has taught me is that, like it or not, all things are not held together in me. I cannot save the world and I’m not in control of my circumstances. But thank God, with His help I can choose how I respond to any pressures that brings. I can, in fact, change the atmosphere. Everything else – the ‘big stuff’ – is in His hands. I am in His hands! He is in control. I am totally dependent on His love and kindness to sustain me now and forever. He has even gone ahead to prepare a place for me! So, whether I stay here or go there, I know I am safe in Him. Either way, it is all good. This is the hope, the strength, the comfort, the joy of every lover of Jesus.
It is OK to be real about the challenges we are currently facing. It is OK to have a bad day, month or, even, year. It is normal to grieve our losses. But we are not crushed. We may not understand it all, but we are not in despair. We may feel hounded, may be struck down by this wretched virus, but we are not abandoned. In Jesus, we can never be destroyed. Pandemic or not, we all must face death, but our Father’s heart, is for His life to be at work in us and in those around us. It is natural to feel afraid when we listen to the news, but the fears we feel do not come from God or reflect Who He is. His gift to us is His perfect love and the power to overcome our natural inclinations and fears so we can rest secure in Him. He loves us! And nothing in this world or the next can separate us from His most outrageous and extravagant love. Even in the eye of the storm we can be filled with joy because our confidence is in our Father’s goodness.
What then can we say?
If God is for us, who can be against us? This is our hope: the joy of knowing that, whatever happens, He will see us through.